You're A Vampire
That Sucks!: A Survival Guide

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  • Being bitten by and turned into a vampire isn’t the glitz and glamour that Hollywood makes it out to be. In fact, one out of five newly turned vampires will succumb to a slew of easily avoidable and common pitfalls within their first few months as a nightwalker - tempting garlic-laced Italian food, silver jewellery and anything with an SPF below 1,000 will have to go.

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Product Description

  • Author
    Domenick Dicce  
    Binding
    trade paperback  
    Cat No.
    3486139  
    EAN
    978039917588651299  
    Genre
    Humour  
    ISBN
    9780399175886  
    Publisher
    Tarcher  
    Type
    Books  
  • Being bitten by and turned into a vampire isn’t the glitz and glamour that Hollywood makes it out to be. In fact, one out of five newly turned vampires will succumb to a slew of easily avoidable and common pitfalls within their first few months as a nightwalker - tempting garlic-laced Italian food, silver jewellery and anything with an SPF below 1,000 will have to go.

    As an answer to this tragic loss of undead life, Count Domenick Dicce has written the definitive how-to guide that just might save your pale, ice-cold skin. This helpful tome will cover everything from Vampire 101 - such as hunting, feeding and getting used to your new powers - to Vampire Graduate Studies - such as coffin selection, the ghoulish world of vampiric social hierarchy and the universal Laws of the Vampire.

    This humorous and giftable guide will be perfect for you or the vampire nut in your life, complete with illustrations throughout.

    There’s nothing worse than getting laughed out of the room at a vampire party after saying a clichéd I vant to suck your blahd! - this stylish and fun guide for the newly undead will ensure that this never happens to you!

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